Full of that "fat kid" shame

"Hold it up. Let me see it." That's what she said.

Thirty-six gold stars and a ring-pop to the band. Prizes! Amen. ["It's call and response. Come with me." [That's what she said.]] As I said before, if anything is ever going to be successful as a ministry tool, it's going to be gospel music. Amen.

Have you seen my childhood?

My most embarrassing childhood moment, the one I'd like to erase if I could, was that one time I visited Neverland Ranch and Michael and I played doctor. . . .

His Holiness went on a binge this morning and indulged in two of his favorite pastimes: spiels-on-wheels and sermaprayers. There's no way he wasn't rocking a little buzz after that.

Spiels-on-wheels are always a good time for everyone involved, especially when Brad makes his way to the back of the floor seats, causing a slight delay between the moment the words exit his mouth and when they come through the speakers. It almost makes me feel like I'm at a disco every time. [Uh oh, social dancing! Run! Hide!]

Oh, and some of those pictures he shared were hilarious. Well, actually just one of them. The one in the car. "I somehow decided to dress like a mid-high pimp." Well, Brad, I can't speak to your status as a juvenile pimp, but you appear to have been only a molestache away from Brokeback Mountain, that's for sure. [For further reading and research on the molestache, try this and this.]

It was, once again, good to see His Holiness making use of his Ph.D. in psychology today. Unfortunately the salmon filet and baked sweet potatoes of his message turned out to be more like spam and boxed potatoes au-gratin. "Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." -Romans 8:1. [That's what he said. . . .]

Don't get me wrong, Jesus is just alright with me too, but shouldn't there be no condemnation for those who are not in Christ Jesus as well? Yes, running to Jesus is one way people can find retreat and solace from their problems and life struggles, but it's certainly not the only way. In fact, I'm going to take a step toward the end of the plank here and say that for some people, running to Jesus might not be the best [healthiest, most efficient/effective] way of dealing with their problems. That's not to say that Jesus is unable to address such a person's concerns, but only that some people might find other forms of relief [psychiatric/psychological consultations, group therapy, Zoloft, etc.] more helpful at a given moment.

Also, I think it's more than slightly unrealistic to suggest that Jesus, if one runs to and throws all their problems at him, will instantly cure all that ails said individual. If you're going to treat Jesus like a therapist, then at least be decent enough to recognize that, just as you would if you were seeing a human therapist, the bulk of the work falls on your shoulders. So, love Jesus, yeah, but please try and remember that your life is still yours to live.

Random thought: I think The Office has officially rejuvinated Freudian psychology. We may have thought that Freud was full of shit, but the frequency at which "that's-what-she-saids" are called may be evidence that he was onto something. . . .

Oh, and where was my "Hamster on a Piano" today? Really, tech crew, if you're going to be good enough to treat me to such joy one day, you can't leave me dry the next. [That's what she said.]

"Keep near me and you will be safe."

Daedalus

P.S. - Undercoverfabala: My offer of prizes to the band today reminded me that you have yet to claim your 20 gold stars and glow-in-the-dark pencil. This saddens me. So, if you'll be so kind as to provide me with your mailbox number, I'll get those items sent your way. [If you're not comfortable posting your mailbox number in a comment, send me a message on Facebook.]