Acquire the Fizzle

Good afternoon boys and girls! Why are you at SNU?

Better question, "Why do you not want to be at SNU?"

Answer: chapel.

On this bright and shining morning we were blessed [I know I was] with the music of the Platter brothers. Please, Jonathan, try to sing with a little less passion in your voice. I was so moved by the monotonous melody you were singing [the Spirit was practically plodding through my veins] that I almost had to get up and start running the aisles.

The exit music was nice, though. It made the already enjoyable exodus even more enjoyable.

His Holiness played his favorite game again today: Hide-and-go-speak. I found him! Did you?

Oh, and thanks, Bradley, for bringing up the skit from a couple weeks ago. Re-enjoying my eggs Benedict was exactly the experience I needed to get my morning going.

You are what you do. You are what you eat. You are what you wear. You are who you associate with. You are who I say you are. You are your parents, re-imagined. You are Rick James, bitch. You are the Dalai Lama reincarnate. You are a sad, strange, little man, and you have my pity. You get the point.

"Why are you really at SNU? This isn't a guilting chapel, or anything. . ." No? Not a guilting chapel? Parading students in front of us and having them say how they work in local and overseas missions that have dramatically changed their lives, implying that this is what our identity should be is not guilting? What was today then, Bradley? Perhaps by asking, "Why are you at SNU," your intent was to say, "If you are here and don't look like these kids, get the hell out."

As for those students who got up on stage and shared their stories, I beseech you with the same request I made of Mr. Platter. Could you please speak with a little more passion? I mean, if your life has really been changed by the missions that you are involved in it should be evident in the way you speak. Flatly reading your own notes from a piece of notebook paper does very little in the way of getting other students motivated to jump on the train. If MLKJ had been as excited about his "I Have a Dream" speech as you three were about sharing your stories, we'd still have "whites only" water-fountains.

Two days of lame chapels? And Dunnington coming up next week? Wow. If I didn't know any better I'd say someone was trying to bore us to tears.

"Keep near me and you will be safe."

Daedalus