"Oh my God, it's so big!" [That's what she said.]
Back in the good old days, when I was a youngster, we had to walk to chapel through blinding snowstorms, uphill both ways, with no shoes! And chapel was three days a week, and four hours long, and the Gresh spoke every day!
Aren't you looking forward to torturing your grandchildren with stories like that?
Come one, come all to chapel. For it is the season of Advent. And I, your venerable leader, His Holiness the Strawn, do not know the proper procedure for lighting Advent candles, and I need you all to come watch me ignore this long-standing tradition.
Great work there, Brad. Really great. We all know how excited you are about celebrating the winter solstice festival wrapped up and tagged as "Christmas," but it's not like the babe is going to be born again. . . .
And what better way to herald the coming of the Christmas season than to hear the Maldonator and company sing several poorly rearranged Christmas carols? Oh, holy Maldonator, your voice melts the ice around my cold, withering heart. . . .
On the upside, Jairo's Johnmayerstagefacitosis seems to be in remission; though his guitar player appears to be suffering from an aggressive case of Overratedrockstarimpersonatitis. Maybe next time Mr. Allmon will play something that actually fits what the rest of the band doing.
I would now like to introduce our speaker for today. You should know that we passed up applicants with Ph.D's and Ed.D's to get her, so you know she's good. . . .
"Good morning, everyone. I have a very important message for you this morning."
Yeah, well, we've heard that before. How about you leave that judgment up to us, Candle Mistress.
"You see, this world is like a dorm room. We're here for a little while, but it's not our home."
Oh come on. . . . I really thought we had moved past all this "now-and-not-yet-kingdom" bullshit. Apparently not.
Problem #1: This world is our home, at least for eighty years or so. Last time I checked, that's slightly more than a "little while." Now, if you want to spend your eighty years desparately trying to remain "uncomfortable" in your body while you wait for Jesus to come cruising back in a low-rider with twenty-fours, by all means, go right ahead. Just don't try and tell me that I need to spend all my time not enjoying myself and staring at the sky.
Problem #2: If the Christian ambition is to try and corral as many people as possible into God's holy fishing net, then a certain amount of engagement with the world is necessary. Sure, you've heard it said that if you live out your "Christian walk" in front of non-believers, they will get curious and ask you what makes you so different, but that's bullshit. If you're a male what they're really thinking is, "Where the fuck is that guy's masculinity?" And if you're a female what they're really thinking is, "Wow, I'd really like to date her, but the only thing she'd ever thump is a Bible."
Problem #3: If you, as a Christian, were to start a conversation with someone by saying, "Hi. Do you have a minute? You do? Would you mind if I told you about my 'true home?'" you'd get laughed at, or searched for cyanide punch, probably repelling the individual further away from Christianity than they were before you opened your gaping void of a mouth. [That is, of course, assuming that the heathen God had "placed on your heart" had a brain.]
Problem #4: The notion that "this world is not our home" has dramatic consequences for the worldviews of those who buy into it. What about the Green movement and caring for the environment? Why should Christians care if the polar ice caps melt and carbon emissions destroy our atmosphere? They won't be around to see it happen, so why bother? And what about political struggles? I'm all for the separation of church and state, but individuals within the church are also members of a national community with very real, pertinent concerns that need to be addressed. Why should Christians care if Russia starts another Cold War or North Korea decides to lauch a tactical nuclear missle at the United States? According to them there's a better "life" ahead, so why bother? You get the point.
Problem #5: The "this is not our home" mindset leads to a certain amount of solipsism and an irreverence for the incredible accomplishments of our species. You like to be able to go to the doctor when you get sick, but you're not a part of this world. You'll probably go see The Dark Knight again when it re-releases in theatres in mid-January, but you're not a part of this world. You were really proud when we put a rover on Mars earlier this year, but you're not a part of this world. You're reading this post on a computer, while texting your BFF, with 808s and Heartbreak playing in the background, but you're not a part of this world.
Now, before all you upstart theology majors start sending me e-mails and quoting scripture about "bringing the Kingdom of God to earth," hear this. I do not have a problem with the Christian anticipation of going to heaven. What I do have a problem with is the other-worldly focus embedded in the idea that "this world is not our home."
If you believe that God put you here, then it is your home. And whatever good intentions you may have about bringing the "Kingdom of God" to Earth, the reality is that there are a great number of people within the Christian religion who couldn't care less about anything other than their living a comfortable life until the day that Jesus comes back to carry them away. Their concern is for themselves, and themselves only. The idea that "this world is not our home" brings with it an inherent disregard for the happenings of life on Earth, including the misfortune that may befall others.
I apologize. I'm ranting. But I hope I have made myself clear.
To end on a positive note, the Candle Mistress did close with a return to the idea that loving others is the primary Christian duty. The Good Reverend and Stephanie Higgins have already addressed this subject in the past few weeks, but it's always good to hear someone else offer their support and perspective on the issue.
If you survive the snowstorm, tomorrow is the last chapel of the semester. Huzzah!
But then again, if you survive this snowstorm, why would you want to venture out into another one just to go to chapel tomorrow?
"Keep near me and you will be safe."
Daedalus
3 comments:
To end on a positive note, the Candle Mistress did close with a return to the idea that loving others is the primary Christian duty. The Good Reverend and Stephanie Higgins have already addressed this subject in the past few weeks, but it's always good to hear someone else offer their support and perspective on the issue.
Three sermons about the Christian duty of love--how redundant! I am offended by the fact that Spiritual Development thinks us to be so dense that we should have to hear about such a tired subject more than once. [end sarcasm]
Just for fun, I have taken a passage from one of your previous posts and inserted "love" in place of "identity." Enjoy.
"[Love] is a tired idea. As college students, we've been pounded with lectures and speeches about ['loving others'] since we were thirteen...do we really need to hear about this any more? It's like the eighty-seven year olds who have gone to church their whole lives and heard the same sermons over and over and over again but somehow still haven't figured out their most rudimentary theology. It's Groundhog day, ladies and gents, and we are all Bill Murray. [Punxsutawney Phil, where are you?!]"
[Disclaimer: I was not in chapel yesterday, so I have no idea what I missed. Just making an observation.]
Well said, Daedalus! Thank you.
So Christianity is emasculating to men and makes women prudish? Don't get me wrong, I hate the idea of "witnessing" too, I just think you made a hasty generalization here.
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