And in the end. . . .

Hallelujah!

Congratulations, ladies and gentlemen. You have successfully survived [or at least I hope you have] another semester of chapel. Good work, everyone. Really, nice job.

And in a surprising turn of events, the last chapel, or at the least the first half of it, wasn't completely worthless.

Props to Whiteside and Co. for the music. I've always wondered what it might sound like if John Mayer covered "O Holy Night."

More props to Rizkalla for trying to pass off the plot of Home Alone as her own Christmas story. $5 says the enrollment in her classes doubles next semester. [Apparently not all business professors are boring as hell. . . .]

Instead of wasting my energy commenting on His Holiness' waste of our time [Pay attention. Got it. Thanks, Brad.], I thought I'd take a few moments to reflect on the semester.

September 2nd, 2008: the day that someone actually started trying to do something about the problems with chapel instead of just muttering about them under their breath.

December 10, 2008: the day that the same person realized that, no matter how hard they try, attempting to effect change in policy and practice at SNU may be futile.

And why? Why might trying to do something about the problems here at SNU be futile? Well, for one because the watershed majority of students at SNU don't give a shit about trying to do anything. About anything. [So why should we expect the administration to act when we refuse to?] Sure, you'll laugh at my jokes about His Holiness and the Maldonator, but after reading my posts, rather than doing anything about chapel, you turn around and start playing Gears 2.

Evidence: I just went to my Facebook group, Flying in Circles, to gather some information about the discussion board threads I have started throughout the semester. Unfortunately, information about the first three threads was unavailable, because of inactivity. However, if we take the six threads about which information is available as representative of all nine, here's what we find:

The average number of posts per thread is 6.33.
The lowest number of posts on a thread is 0.
The highest number of posts on a thread is 18. [And, go figure, it was on the thread entitled, "Sex Talk." Typical.]
The average number of people commenting on each thread is 2.83.
The lowest number of people commenting on a thread is 0.
The highest number of people commenting on a thread is 7.
The average number of comments per blog post is 6.67.
The lowest number of comments on a blog post is 1.
The highest number of comments on a blog post is 17.
[Keep in mind that these last three statistics include my comments and multiple comments by one person.]

Unfortunately, I cannot give accurate statistics regarding the number of Facebook messages I have received, as my original profile was deleted halfway through the semester, so you'll just have to believe me when I report that most of the messages I received said something like, "Hey, who are you?" or, "Stop being such a pussy and reveal your identity." Very substantive, indeed.

I received one e-mail from a student this semester.

SNU is a school of how many students? Roughly 2,000? How many students have to attend chapel? Roughly half of that? And the best you can do is 6.something posts/comments per thread or blog post?! Pathetic. Fucking pathetic. [Mario and Luigi Platter, you two are excused from being classified as "pathetic fuckheads" because, whether you agreed with me or not, at least you participated. Mayo, Shane, Josh, Nikki, Michelson: same goes for you.]

Come on people. We all complain about chapel. We all have problems with the way certain things are done here at SNU, but it's really rather embarrassing to discover that when someone actually tries to do some good by providing an open forum for discussion and plenty of material to discuss, you balk at the opportunity afforded you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know life is sooooooo much easier when you don't have to think for yourself and someone else just tells you what to do, but is that the kind of life you want to lead? I really don't feel like investigating the finer points of this issue, because I know the majority of you don't fucking care. The result would probably cause me to need a perscription for Prozac anyway.

In summation: I hope you have enjoyed this semester. I hope you found my posts entertaining. I hope you enjoyed the movie clips and funny pictures. I hope you're all happy knowing that you attend a school full of apathetic anti-intellectuals who refuse to engage themselves and others regarding issues that could be of benefit to the entire campus when given the chance.

No tears, SNU, just because I'm disappointed doesn't mean I won't be back. Come January 13th I shall return, controversial, crude, and challenging as ever. Maybe by that time some of you will be in the mood for intelligent discussion.

On a lighter note: Happy Holidays, and everybody take some rubbers.

"Keep near me and you will be safe."

Daedalus