Welcome back, your dreams were your ticket out...

Welcome to Tuesday, SNU chapel fans.

I'm sure you're all revved up for the new semester after that invigorating service this morning.

Some of you may have noticed there are a few new policies in chapel. Highlights include the new sign-in policy - as if it wasn't torturous enough that we have to wait in a DPS line at the end of chapel, we're now expected to show up 30 minutes early to ensure we get credit. Good thinking. I'm sure locking the doors after chapel has begun wouldn't have covered all the late students. Oh, and good job with the flyers about chapel being a "sacred space." It really helps SNU become more of a green campus when we waste reams of paper printing out bulletins of completely useless information. Leave it to our administrators to take away decades of technical advancements in order to spread news in an archaic fashion. E-mail. Use it. That way we can trash your pointless message without destroying our living space.

And a big round of applause to our new aisle monitors. It feels fantastic to be back in Kindergarten. I can't wait for nap-time and animal crackers. Maybe if I have to tinkle tomorrow someone will help me with my Osh Kosh overalls.

This space will usually be used to make enlightening and, at times, sarcastic comments on chapel sermons, especially invigorating music selections, campus events, and any other observations I happen across. However, today, as it will undoubtedly be with most of the other chapels we shall be blessed with throughout the remainder of the semester, nothing of any value was said...shocker...leaving me with nothing to comment on.

Except for the banner.

As it has been for the past two years, we have new decor. A precious gem dangling between the trusses. 2006's stained [plexi]glass was a monumental . . . . . waste of 10K. 2007 saw the rise of inane phrases and the Now and Not Yet Kingdom of theological dead ends, rambling, and general bullshit.

Now dawns the era of the one-winged man: our very own Icarus, if you will. This lovely new tapestry accomplishes two things. First, it allows the powers that be to continue to think of themselves as postmodern prophets, ushering in a new era of spiritual righteousness at our beloved institution. Second, it foretells the path of the coming semester: we will continue, as always, flying in circles.

"When is a bird a bird?" ...how about all the damn time?! Yep. Our esteemed reverend really laid an egg with that one. Excuse me if I'm missing some deep seeded meaning here, but I simply cannot find justification for turning this otherwise completely obvious query into an investigation of identity. For most Christians, the next question in this vein is, "What was I created for?" Good luck figuring that one out. How about instead of wasting a lifetime on an unanswerable question we just resolve that the question is irrelevant?

And thank you, Brad, for letting us know that we ought to make our identity that of Christ Jesus. It's a comfort to know I won't have to waste the next few years of my life figuring out my identity on my own terms. Heaven forbid I use the brain that "god gave me."

Worship was especially Maldotastic today, much to the pleasure of Brad, I'm sure. Delightfully they gained ground by singing "I love you, Daddy," a phrase that, until this morning, was saved for abused step-children and pornos. Props, worship team.

"Icarus, my son, I charge you to keep at a moderate height, for if you fly too low the damp will clog your wings, and if too high the heat will melt them. Keep near me and you will be safe."

Daedalus