Get down on your knees...

Greetings, earthlings. We have come, once again, to that most treasured of moments in our collective Tuesday: the posting of a new blog. Let's all revel in the majesty of this moment together.

Okay, now to business.

Prints of the masterpiece that dangles betwixt our trusses are now available! Contemplate its complex symbolism! Meditate on its relevance to your life! Bask in the glow of its brilliant execution! Buy one NOW!!!!

Just in case you didn't know, our music this morning was provided by Banning Dawson. Well done, Banning. Overall you seemed very genuine. [*Hint, hint* to anyone who might want to perform in chapel.] My only point of contention with your presentation concerns the menial subject of song choice. "How Great is Our God" has always seemed odd to me because the chorus of the song presents the singer [and ironically, God] with a question, "How great is our God?" that never really gets an answer. [Except from God. He thinks he's pretty great. He told me.] Of course, Chris Tomlin never was one to pen the most thoughtful of lyrics, but that might just be me.

Identity and Imagination are our themes for the year, per His Holiness.

Imagination? Really? Since when have we discussed imagination, Brad? We recited the Apostles' Creed this morning. Our students, and you too, Mr. VP, lack even the imagination to say those words with conviction. If Christians ever learn how to voice their beliefs outside of the format of zombified prose, then we can start having discussions about imagination. Until then, [I hate to say this] please stick to putting us to sleep by droning on about identity.

Oh, and about identity, His Holiness marched up on stage this morning and said, roughly, "...as we are working through this semester and the problem of finding our identity in Christ..."

Wait. I thought we were just working through the problem of identity. If you tag "in Christ" onto the end of it, then we're really not investigating much, are we? On this note, you will find a discussion board thread on the Flying In Circles Facebook group titled, "Identity." Please post your thoughts on the following question:

Is it important that Jesus be the sole source of a Christian's personal identity? Or are they free to look to other sources, even other religious teachings or teachers, to find a model for who they want to become?

Discuss.

Now we can get on to our lady speaker. [That's what he said.]

Dr. Winner, thank you for being honest in your presentation of sexuality as a subject that needs to be discussed within the church. Heaven knows Christians are far too sexually repressed to be healthy, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for re-opening the subject for substantive discourse. Thank you for telling us a little of your own story in order to help us understand your perspective on the subject. Thank you for pointing out that the church ought to spend a little less time telling its members not to have sex and turn its focus to other, more pressing, issues. [The environment, peace, human exploitation, mercy, etc.]

For all the good points that you made this morning, I thought your presentation on human sexuality, the meat and potatoes of your talk, was a little disappointing. [I realize you're going to say more about this subject tonight, but, well, we aren't there yet, are we? Oh, and if you were hoping to say anything meaningful to the SNU student population about sexuality, this morning was your opportunity. If SNU stays true to its record, you'll have about thirty students in attendance tonight. Sorry we suck so hard. [That's what they said...]]

First, you said you did not grow up within the Christian moral structure. One of the liberties this afforded you was the freedom to explore your sexuality without fear of a creepy old dude and his son peeking in on you. However, after you became a Christian you said that it became clear to you, over time, that God was not pleased with the way that you had been conducting yourself in the sexual arena. My question is this: was your behavior wrong or "sinful" before you became a Christian? Here it is tempting to say that, "Yes, my behavior was wrong, I just didn't know it at the time." But this answer is not satisfactory, for two reasons.

1. Follow me here. Raccoons have sex. Ocelots have sex. Elephants have sex. [Yuck] Humans have sex. As I have already espoused in my discussions with Platter the Elder, humans, as much as we might like to deny it, are simply animals. More advanced? Yes. Bigger brains? Yes. Ego? Yes. But still animals. So, does it make any sense to put forth that God, taking into account his ambivalence toward the sexuality of the remainder of the animal kingdom, gives a rat's ass about the sexuality of humans? Be careful how you answer that.

2. How do Christians know that sex outside of marriage, pornography, and other sexual sins, are wrong? Because God said so? Not good enough. Every sermon on Christian sexuality presents the idea that any expression of our sexual natures outside of wedlock separates Christians from God. What everyone, yes everyone, fails to address is how and why. Even if God is viewed as the moral authority for Christians, the question still needs to be asked, "Why does God say that this is wrong?" And when is anyone going to offer an explanation for how human sexuality is destructive to the Christian faith? I'd be excited to hear that sermon.

Honestly, whenever I hear talk about the Christian perspective on human sexuality I am reminded of Lowery's The Giver or Orwell's 1984. If you can control the sexual behavior of an individual, you control the individual. [That's a quote. You can put a dash and my name after it.]

I know that corporate America does not put forth the healthiest messages about sexuality and its role in our everyday lives. However, the fact that the secular perspective is flawed does not mean that the Christian perspective is completely righteous. All I'm asking is whether or not the Christian point of view is the only alternative to the over-stimulation and over-saturation of our Carl's Jr. commercials and PETA advertisements.

I have one last question, Dr. Winner. When you are repenting for sexual sin, do you get down on your knees?

"Keep near me and you will be safe"

Daedalus

These are the days of thoughtcrime.

Ah, Wednesday...Double holiness day here at SNU: chapel in the morning and an empty campus in the evening because we're all at church. Little do they know....

First, a response. In preparation for these next comments, it would be good for you to read the second and third comments on yesterday's post.

Jbeezy seems a little worried about the exact definition of "sin." The problem here, as some of the more intellectually astute among you may have realized, is that "sin" is not easily, if it can be at all, qualified. Some traditions define "sin" as trespassing on the laws of their divine while others expand the operational scope of "sin" to include transgressions against humanity. To some, "sin" is commited in action, to others, the crime exists only in thought. [Which, if I do say so myself, is rather Orwellian.] Regardless of how you choose to define "sin," the concept is not one that can be easily nailed down.

So, when we are encouraged by whatever esteemed orator we happen to be listening to in chapel to "confess our sins before God," I get a little confused about what exactly they are attempting to say. I suppose it could reasonably be assumed that the definition of "sin" expounded on our campus would follow a Biblical delineation, but even that is vague at best. So when I am confronted with the charge that I am pretending to be too holy by claiming not to have "sinned," [which is not what I said] or when I am asked to define "sin," I can respond in the same way. "I'm not sure exactly what you are saying."

Enough psychobabble, on to chapel.

This morning's chapel marked the long awaited return of...drumroll please...the Godfather of Soul himself, James Brown. [Ow! I feel good!] Oh, wait. Not that James Brown. Damn. All I really need to say here is that, "These are the days of Elijah." Yep. [Just to clarify, in case JBeezy is still wondering, if there is sin in the world, the foremost example of it was the authorship of that song.]

I also especially enjoyed the overtly brooding rendition of a Negro Spiritual we were treated to this morning. [Please, sweet chariot, swing lo and carry James home.] Apparently Ben Folds is not the only one who can show us what it's like to be male, middle-class, and white. Next time you perform please sing "Nobody Knows the Trouble I've Seen." I'm sure no one can understand the sorrow of a suburbanite like you.

Oh, by the way. I heard you singing. You sounded great. And God liked it too. [ha ha ha]

A letter:

Dear Mr. Gibson,

Please stop telling me how to do my job. If this trend continues the next time you are asked to speak in chapel, I will shoot you with a bb gun from the tech booth.

Love,
The Video Tech

A challenge:

Reverand Gibson, I hereby challenge you to take the stage in chapel and preach a sermon that the students in attendance have not already heard fifty times. I challenge you to move beyond the hell-raising and condemnation perpetuated by preachers of your father's generation and actually push people to grow in their spiritual lives. I challenge you to have an original thought. I challenge you to think more deeply about why an individual ought to commit their life to Christ and actually provide support, beyond the assertion that humans are inherently broken, sinful, and weak, for your argument. I challenge you to a walk-off. [Age before beauty, goat cheese.]

Your spiel today reminded of a scene from Mean Girls. You just need Jesus. Ok? Everybody take some rubbers.

The wax is melting.

"Keep near me and you will be safe."

Daedalus