It's raining, it's pouring, I wish I could have been snoring. But I had to be in chapel.
Shit.
It was truly a blessing to have Bush's solid quarter present in chapel today. I hope the presence of their combined holiness enriched your experience as much as it did mine. [And we pretend church isn't about politics. . . .]
Honestly, I enjoyed having all the pastors present because seeing them all dressed up reminded me of all the tithe money spent buying the clothes on their backs. We're paying for their Lexuses, Armani suits, and gated-community homes, you know. Have you enjoyed their services enough to warrant an extra tip on the nightstand?
Another point of amusement came when His Holiness was guiding us through prayer [At least it wasn't a three hour tour. That's got to count for something.] at the end of the service and said something akin to, "Thanks for all the pastors who are here. It's because of them that many of us are here." Yeah. Thanks pastors for holding our hands all the way through the SNU Gate and never telling us about the four or five years of condescension, censorship, character manipulation, circular-reasoning, and unhealthy co-dependence we were fated to experience as a result of your coersion. [Make sure you fill in those blanks on your sermon notes.]
We confessed our sins again today. Three cheers for forced guilt! Huzzah! Huzzah! Huzzah!
Mr. Whiteside did a better-than-average job leading the music today. Props also to Ms. Anonymous Freshman Pianist. The this-is-a-very-serious-service-and-you-can-tell-because-I'm-playing-this-very-emotive-music-on-my-acoustic-guitar-and-singing-breathy-harmonies-with-this-girl-who-is-playing-piano mood was made manifest.
I always find it odd when "worship songs" include lines such as, "cradled in his [Jesus'] arms." Is this really the relationship we want to have with the divine? To be helpless, screaming, crying, pissing, teat-suckling children who need Jesus to come rescue us from the Big Bad World? I should certainly hope not. And if that is the shape you want your metaphysical "marraige" to take, I must ask what you think Jesus is saving you from.
Question: where do you find the time and emotional energy to serve Jesus if your primary concern is that of walking the tightrope [that the Chuch created after Jesus died]? Can you really be a worthy follower of Jesus if you are always riddled with guilt and spending all your time and effort trying to make sure you haven't screwed the pooch in the last five minutes? More power to you, Rapunzel.
Look out! Cannibals!
Don't get me wrong, I am very glad Nazarenes aren't as ass-backward about their communion as the Catholics. I mean, I enjoy sucking on my Savior and swallowing some Jesus juice as much as the next guy, but those Catholics have a tendency to take things a little too far. . . .
Oh, and thanks, Michelson, for leaving the bullshit at the door and reminding those of us who had forgotten that there is nothing magical about the communion experience. Like the rest of our lives, the situation is deviod of meaning unless we infuse it with such. The eucharist can be a powerful symbol, but it does not possess that quality inherently.
Here's a hint.
I sat in the mezzanine today, and when everyone stood to get in line to receive communion I could not for the life of me help but think of a bunch of homeless people getting in line to receive their welfare checks. Or maybe lemmings, flocking blindly en masse toward a precipice. One of those two, I'm not sure which.
And what of those few students who chose to buck the trend and not partake of the elements? "Well, if you feel that you're not in the right place with God, then the best thing you could be doing is reflecting on your journey and not taking communion." Thanks Holiness. I'm sure the few students who simply don't agree with the practice of communion and have made considerate, thoughtful decisions about the subject appreciated your condescension and backhanded ridicule. That'll draw them into the fold for sure. [Can they expect the same treatment from the conversion classes you're peddling this semester?]
Here's a thought: from now on you should offer wine with communion, in addition to grape juice. I'll put my $5 in and bet that even the filthiest heathens would take communion then. [Hi, I'll have a tall double holiness blood with an extra shot of pious, and two home-baked body wafers, please."
Be strong; only one more day until fall break. What? We have to go to chapel tomorrow too?
Shit.
"Keep near me and you will be safe."
Daedalus
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11 comments:
Daedalus, you offend me in a way that is usually reserved for pretentious services and ministry majors. In this blog alone, you have criticized pretty much every facet of chapel in what seems to be a wholly unnecessary manner. We all get that you're pretty dissatisfied with your experience at SNU as a whole, but you don't need to take it out on every innocent bystander who pops up in the chapel forum.
Setting the record straight: not ever pastor is a money grubbing pied piper intent on leading you to misery and disillusionment; communion is what you make it and condemning people who take it is just as bad as them condemning you; just because you don't personally know the musicians doesn't immediately discount their talent or sincerity; and finally, our leaders are doing their best and I think some positive changes have been made to accommodate students.
I'm not happy with many things on our campus, but I try to be more constructive than merely caustic. I used to agree with you, Daedalus, but it looks like you're slowly degrading into an irksome old woman. I no longer feel safe near you. Seems you've donned the wings and flown too close to the sea.
After reading your latest blog I just want to ask the question that I've wondered while reading the rest of your blogs about chapel and SNU...why are you at SNU?
"Thanks Holiness. I'm sure the few students who simply don't agree with the practice of communion and have made considerate, thoughtful decisions about the subject appreciated your condescension and backhanded ridicule."
Condescension and backhanded ridicule? Really? I wonder what that would look like. Maybe it would look like:
"It was truly a blessing to have Bush's solid quarter present in chapel today."
or perhaps it would look like:
"I enjoyed having all the pastors present because seeing them all dressed up reminded me of all the tithe money spent buying the clothes on their backs. We're paying for their Lexuses, Armani suits, and gated-community homes, you know. Have you enjoyed their services enough to warrant an extra tip on the nightstand?"
or maybe even:
"I sat in the mezzanine today, and when everyone stood to get in line to receive communion I could not for the life of me help but think of a bunch of homeless people getting in line to receive their welfare checks. Or maybe lemmings, flocking blindly en masse toward a precipice."
This last week, someone told me that commenting on this blog was a waste of my time, that you weren't looking for sincere dialogue on how to make chapel better, and that you were simply trying to get a rise out of people. Thank you for proving their point, and being as bigoted and totally closeminded as you claim those who would call themselves followers of Christ are.
I second all the comments above.
Amber Jackson, I do believe you lost a reader today.
WOW... what eyes were you looking from? I did not see any pastors dressed in Armani suits... I saw men and women who have worked hard to make ends meet while serving a God they believe in and want nothing but to give what they can to Him. To the right of me, I sat next to a man who I will never understand why he does what he does... but he has never owned a Lexus... much less a brand new car, never owned brand name clothing... a man who built a church up from nothing with the help of God and a community, a man who went months at a time without pay so the church could pay bills, and keep the doors open... a man that I am proud to call my Pastor... and my dad. And I know there were many more like him in the audiance. Until you have a relationship with a pastor, and by reading this post I can honesly believe that you do not have a relationship with such a person (which is a shame and I have a great pastor here who I would love to introduce you too), then you should not be able to pass judgement on them. I have looked forward to reading your post, to hear another persons view and even laugh at some of the comments... but this was a low blow even for you... As much as I hate to say it you just might have lost another reader..
If I did not understand what you were saying, or read it the wrong way please correct me.
Yeah I'm going to have to ask the same question of why are you even at SNU? If you have such a problem with how the campus and chapel services are run then why are you attending? If you don't like that list of things you gave I have a simple solution for you: leave. No one is forcing you to be here. Nor did anyone force you to come in the first place. If you don't like it so much then get out. You're not any better than your analysis of our relationship. You do nothing but whine about everything that happens in the service. Stop taking things to such an extreme, or stop writing your blog. Seriously, grow up.
My normal routine for reading the Most Revered Chapel Blog:
1. Daedalus created a new post!
2. Read the blog entry.
3. Re-read the entry, this time weeding through the unneccesary obscenity, closed-minded criticism of SNU and Christians in general, verbal assault on nearly every person involved in the service, and general misspellings (ie. coersion, deviod).
4. Focus on the aspects of the post which truly challenge the norm and seek to bring about positive change.
5. Comment in a way which brings those aspects to the forefront and hopefully contributes to a conversation in which the student body becomes involved in what happens on campus and in chapel.
This week, I reached an impasse somewhere between steps 3 and 4, mainly because there was nothing positive to which I could latch on and extract some good.
Plenty of "condescension and backhanded ridicule," however. (Thanks for pointing that out, Wanderer.)
I think that you have the ability to bring about a lot of good here, but I must agree with the previous comments--you have failed us this week. You write that "articulate discussion" will bring about "real progress," but that particular brand of discussion is nowhere to be found in today's post.
“It behooves every man to remember that the work of the critic is of altogether secondary importance, and that, in the end, progress is accomplished by the man who does things.”
--Theodore Roosevelt
I suppose it's only fair that if I am going to call out others' shortcomings publicly, I should take my lashings in the same arena. And I will.
I was wrong to characterize all Nazarene pastors in the way that I did. Not all of them drive Lexuses, wear Armani, or live in gated communities. To those pastors who do not, and who are trying to do something positive for the world, I apologize. However, not all Nazarene pastors are so pastoral. I think it is despicable for pastors to live lives that are exponentially more lavish than those of their congregations, so my comments still stand for those pastors [Nazarene or otherwise] who are characterized by Lexuses, Armani, and gates.
Unfortunately, but understandably, I cannot offer any information as to why I am at SNU. Also, you would be wrong to think that I am wholly dissatisfied with my educational experience thus far at SNU. As with most of you [I would guess], I enjoy some aspects of SNU, and I dislike others. Chapel, in its current format, simply happens to be one of those things I dislike.
Wanderer: You are wrong to say that I am closed minded. Present me with an argument, and you might sway me. I will listen to reason. Also, do not think that I am not aware of the sarcastic, backhanded nature of my prose. The difference between myself and Mr. Strawn is that I never claimed to be anyone's friend, I'm just trying to do what I think needs to be done: change chapel.
Shane: Thanks for the spelling tips.
Meridith: I'm sad to see you go.
This post was rather caustic, even for me, but I find it rather unfortunate that you have all chosen to focus only on the negative sections of the post and completely ignore the questions I raised that could lead to meaningful discussion.
What do you think about the coercion [:)] and circular-reasoning at SNU?
What do you think about the forced guilt inherent in the Christian system? And how is one to deal with it?
What does a 'proper' [if there is such a thing] relationship with Jesus look like?
What is communion? And why should we continue to practice it? Is it meaningless?
These are only a few prompts taken from this post, and there are others that could be extracted.
I find it sad and a little depressing that college students cannot glean these topics from a block of prose for themselves. It's a travesty to see that as scholars these points have to be presented individually and made evident as topics of discussion with question marks.
If you wish to focus only on the negative sections of my comments, nothing will come of this and my efforts will be in vain. But if you'll take what I'm saying and actually discuss some of the issues I raise, something fruitful could come from this. [I would prefer the latter.]
In response to your post, I would like to pose my own query: What WAS positive to you in that last blog post? All that appeared to me was malicious glossing over important topics. So there's a problem with some Nazarene pastors, what should we do about it? Young people today don't understand communion, should we abolish it or find a way to infuse it with meaning again? Our structured church system is ineffective and losing touch with new generations, how can we affect change with our own viewpoints to steady it?
These are the important questions and we all invite you to challenge us with them. However, presenting these issues in a wholly negative, hyper-critical, crass manner does not help anyone and puts most people on guard. Most of us enjoy your humor, Daedalus, don't get me wrong; but there are times when you go too far and then it doesn't help anyone.
To paraphrase:
"If you don't agree with us then why don't you leave?" - snuhawkeye09 and sir randomness
Is it any wonder that the church is shrinking?
"To be liked, you must never disagree." - Thoreau
"ua"
I'm not sure how you can paraphrase me saying "If you don't agree with us then why don't you leave?" when all I asked was why "Amber" is at SNU. It's the same question I ask everyone who complains about SNU rules like freshman curfew, chapel attendence, and the lifestyle covenant, it's not like SNU is a public school that you are forced to go to, you chose to come here. "Amber" chose to come to SNU knowing that SNU is a Nazarene school and that we have chapel every Tuesday and Wednesday and all she's done with this blog is complaine about it and critisize the people involved in it as well as, especially with the last post, critisize christians as a whole all under the flag of "critical thinking". If YOU chose to come to SNU don't get upset when you have follow its rules and attend its chapels, thats all I'm saying (which has nothing to do with telling her to leave the church btw).
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