Please enter quietly as we prepare to indoctrinate you. . . . I love silent chapels.
It's especially discouraging to me that, after such a thoughtful chapel on Tuesday, on Wednesday we're right back into the old routine. Sorry to tell you, Dr. Jacobs, but there is a good chance that your words fell on deaf ears.
This morning's service contained far too much shit to comment on in one post, so I have decided, in lieu of writing a novel, to select my topics by raffle. I have written possible topics on slips of paper, placed those slips into a hat, and I will draw five of them to comment on. Drum roll please. . . .
One. "You are FORGIVEN. Love, God."
Are you kidding me? Just in case you've forgotten, this brilliant snippet of revelation kicked off the twenty minute slideshow we had the priviledge of sitting through this morning. In the slides immediately preceding this one we were encouraged to repent of our sins, making silent supplication to God to forgive us for the horrible, wretched, sinful lives we lead.
By this point I hope I have made my thoughts on corporate confession very clear. [Here's a refresher.] But this? This is worse than those fucking billboards. This is a whole new level of bullshit. Did God put that Powerpoint together? Did God walk into Brad's office and tell him to add that slide? Or maybe His Holiness isn't to blame. Maybe God added that slide to the presentation himself while it was being projected onto the screens: revelation in real-time! [Congrats, SNU, you are the first people in history to witness a miracle.]
Oh, and apparently God wanted us to know that we are FORGIVEN for those sins, because regular old forgiven wouldn't be enough.
Two. Videology.
The modernist perspective is dead, and I'm not sure if the makers of the first video we were treated to this morning were ever made aware of this fact. Good or evil, right or wrong, loved or abandoned, light or dark, black or white, paper or plastic: these are all false dilemmas that died with the rest of modernism. If post-modernity has taught us anything it is that the complexities of life simply do not lend themselves to such binary classification. Grey is the new black.
Another problem I had with this video was its asking, "Who will rescue us?"
My primary concern with questions like this one is that it invites complacency by implying that humanity is not smart/strong/reasonable/moral enough to get itself out of the mess it's in. But more than that, this question appears to suggest that humanity is somehow inherently in need of rescue, whether in a crisis or not. [Think "original sin."] Gnostic, much? If my reading of the gospels is correct, Jesus came to empower humanity, not strip away its dignity and leave us crying at the sky in hope of the "second coming."
Three. Storybook Apostle's Creed.
Someone was having a little too much fun with Powerpoint this week: pictures, animated text, the whole shebang. Are we so dense that we need pictures of flames to animate the concept of Hell? [Which is not Biblical, by the way. We have Dante to thank for the flames and tridents.] Text dropping from on high to show Jesus descending? Crying Jesus? Clouds of holiness?
Why not just go all the way [that's what she said] and give us a Seussian chapel sometime?
Would you sin within a house?
Would you sin with a mouse?
I would not sin within a house.
I would not sin with a mouse.
I would not sin here or there.
I would not sin anywhere.
I do not like sin or vice.
I do not like them, Jesus Christ!
You can give me that Pulitzer now.
Four. Guided prayer.
Whoever had the brilliant idea that Christians would benefit from someone holding their hand and walking them through a "proper" relationship with God needs to be dragged out into the street and shot. Here's a new idea: how about you leave me and my reationship with God alone and worry about your own divine dealings?
I anticipate that someone might counter this position by arguing that, through guided prayer, Christians are united in their concern for a specific issue/person. Okay, but for what? If the argument is that being united as a church/body/campus is subjectively beneficial for those involved, then I have no problem. [Though at SNU such unity rarely extends beyond the moments of guided prayer, if a feeling of unity is created in such moments at all.] However, if someone were crazy enough to try and argue that by praying collectively for some need that God would be more likely to respond, I would be forced to look them square in the eyes and alert them to the fact that they are a dumbass.
Five. This one is, surprisingly, positive. Mr. Whiteside's presentation of the music this morning was refreshingly honest. It was nice to see a musician on stage who had actually taken the time to practice and memorize his/her music before performing.
Let's end on a high note.
We only have to go to one chapel next week! Huzzah!
"Fill us up and send us out." That's what she said.
"Keep near me and you will be safe."
Daedalus
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10 comments:
Personally, my favorite slide was the one gradually narrowing the things we ought to pray for.
Pray for the United States
Pray for Oklahoma
Pray for SNU.
I half-expected to see "Pray for chapel", followed by "Pray for the mezzanine" and "Pray for row 9."
And anyone notice the cheap communion? Fancy mega-churches (The secret lust of SNU chapel) get the circle wafers with the cross on them. If we don't move past smashed matzo crackers, the devil has surely won.
Normally I wouldn't have taken communion, but I forgot to eat breakfast that morning. I grabbed a big piece so my stomach wouldn't growl in my next class.
And I like the point you made about the 'You are forgiven' slide. First of all, when you sign anything "God" you almost guarantee to make yourself look like an idiot. "Oh, I'm sure God would say this. Cuz, he's like, so good and awesome. He loves you and he's good and he's awesome." It's harder to get a message more void of meaning than that.
And I actually liked the music as well. I was nearly to the point of tears when it seemed like we might go a whole chapel without some acoustic guitar.
Dear Chapel Directors,
I hate Guided prayer, its empty hearted and absolutely pointless.
sincerely, God
- yeah. I agree.
A. The main source of knowledge that we have on the nature of God is biblical. The biblical witness makes it fairly apparent that God has forgiven us. But, you're right. It was cheesy.
B. As far as the nature of sin is concerned, you seem to be apt to point out just how much Christians tend to fail to be Christlike, yet you complain when they confess this shortcoming. Perhaps you could explain that.
C. The death of modernity is not quite as apparent as you make it out to be.
D. The idea of Christ coming to rescue us is not mutually exclusive with the idea of Christ empowering us.
E. You claim the superiority of postmodernity and the death of modernity, but rather than seeing church as something corporate and relationally driven (the postmodern model of church), you would rather it be individualistically and personal experience oriented (the modern model of church).
Perhaps this week you could provide some sort of rational analysis instead of your usual snide dismal.
I thought Dante depicted the innermost level of Hell as pure ice in which people were frozen from the neck down.
I don't think SNU students would be the first people in history to witness a miracle... I think a guy named Jesus performed a few of those.
And it's a shame that some people can't enjoy communion if the form that it is taken in is not up to their regular dining expectations. Maybe next time we can have some San Fransisco sourdough bread with some vintage wine. Perhaps this would serve as a more fulfilling breakfast.
Please, don't degrade communion.
I'm surprised we didn't have San Fransisco sourdough bread and vintage wine. After considering what chapel has already done to other sacred traditions, it wouldn't be that outlandish.
Chapel as become devoted to entertainment: Make the devout students happy and keep the casual student awake. It does this through stupid videos, feel good sermons, and pop culture music. It reinforces the Christian social ideal/stereotype while at the same time ignoring the some of the most important questions we are asking (Why am I a Christian? Why should I be a Christian? Why does one even need faith at all?).
We have absolutely brilliant theologians and philosophers on this campus. They rarely speak in chapel, let alone on the really important stuff. We get the white noise of Christianity: the xian-indie music and "I love Jesus" stickers.
If we are expected to understand complicated ideas to pass Christian Thought and Bib. Interp, I think it's safe to discuss those same higher ideas in chapel.
Instead, we get a wanna-be mega church. Bring on the big screen TV's and classy communion food!
Perspectives, worldviews, are not subject to fashion. You cannot simply make someone aware of the fact that their worldview is "dead." Congratulations, you call God "she," you have problems with the traditional definitions of sin; we are so proud of you for being so wonderfully forward thinking and ahead of the curve. But if you'll remember your own words, "gray is the new black." And the way one gets the color gray is by having a bit of BOTH black, and white.
And Julian, remember: the enemy gate is down.
guided prayer, not so much. it would have been better to simply read it silently.
communion-- nothing wrong with it. sure real bread would have been more fulfilling, but that's not really the point of communion now is it?
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